On Being Alone

Let me tell you that spending an entire week by yourself is a lot harder than you might think. I legitimately could not have been more wrong about my expectations on what I do during a full week of being alone. Usually, when I’m alone at home, I feel very motivated, I get a lot of stuff done, and I feel happy doing my me-things. Except this time, I didn’t feel any of that. I felt sad, I felt lonely, I felt drained.


I didn’t really understand everything that I was feeling at first, but it was pretty new to me. I had made all these plans, this huge To Do List that I was so pumped to get started. But then I didn’t want to. I just… didn’t want to.


Ok, it wasn’t like that every single minute of everything single day. The upside was that I currently work 40 hours a week so that kept me pretty busy during the daytime. I would get up at my usual 6:30/7AM, do some meal prep or small chores around the house, eat some cereal and then head to work for the day. We’ve been pretty busy at work too, so time goes by quickly, especially because I love what I do. But then, I get home and I’m tried and I’m hungry, and there’s no one there. I never realized how much I relied on my better half – for everything.


Some people always complain about how their partner isn’t doing this, or isn’t helping with that, and I’m guilty of that too. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed and I wish he would help more, or do more than one chore per day. Except I think maybe I was a little blind sighted, because now that he’s not here, I realize how many things he actually does do.


He hugs me, and kisses me, every day.

He comforts me, no matter what.

He makes me smile, and he makes me laugh.

He makes me supper, and he does the dishes.

He does the laundry – even if it’s just the washing part of it.

He loves my kitty, but he hates admitting it.

He watches TV shows I like, but that I know he hates.

He spends time with me every day, because he knows how important that is to me.

And best of all, he is ALWAYS willing to be silly with me!

I can’t believe it took me so long to realize this. But at least now I can be more mindful, and appreciative of all the things I know he does for me. I can’t wait for him to be home – just one more day to go!

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